i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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