I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize