I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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