I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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