he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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