listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize