he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
