I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
