Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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