so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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