If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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