and you said cock pushups were impossible
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
