I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
