I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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