I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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