Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
