That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
