Whoa Z and x make the same sound
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
