that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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