I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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