My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize