now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
