dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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