Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So apparently I’m into choking now
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