im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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