Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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