meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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