is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize