youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
