that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
