the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
