Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
