I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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