Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Randomize
