I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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