After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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