some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
