She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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