You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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