i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
