Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
