I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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