Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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