U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
We're like a lot better than the average bears
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
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