U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
