Bisexual people are plain selfish.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
