i would punch a child for taco bell
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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