I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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