just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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