so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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