I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
