If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
