this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
