I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Need sex. Gaining weight.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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