She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
