cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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