I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
