hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize