Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
