Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
should my penis look like a turkey
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
