That's intense
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
