Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
