I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Your cock deserves a montage
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
