do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
