maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize