I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize