Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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