Define "chronic" masturbator.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
