In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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