Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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