trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
