How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
