You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I licked your asshole in confidence.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
