There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize