Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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