Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
