I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
