Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
