sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
