Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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