Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
